Garth Brooks, cancer, and illegal U-turns.

I'm sending out a general S.O.S. on the off-chance that some of you might NOT make fun of me for this.

I want to go see Garth Brooks.

Alright, please, go ahead and get it out of your system: "Dude, she likes...Garth...Brooks? Seriously?" Yes, I do, and so does my mom. Many years ago, she and I promised each other that if Garth ever "came out of retirement" to do another live show, she and I would go together. We've sung his songs extremely loudly and off-key on many family road trips, and it's kind of a thing for us. Nobody can belt out "Callin' Baton Rouge" while making an illegal U-turn like the [-Draw Family] ladies.

So now that Garth has suddenly decided to do eight shows in Kansas City next month (one's on my birthday!!), I want in. Naturally, tickets sold out in about a second. I'm not a fan of scalpers and I have moral objections to paying enormous sums of money for the tickets that are floating around the internet, so...

Does anyone have two extra tickets (together) that they'd like to sell me for face value or thereabouts? I have preferred dates, but if I can get reasonable tickets, I'll rearrange my schedule.

I really don't want to have to pay a scalper (illegal!) or write to Ellen DeGeneres and tell her that my cancer-victim mother wants to go see this once-in-a-lifetime show while she still has some time left on this planet with her daughter (true, but morally ambiguous!). That last one was her idea, I swear.*

Anyone?


*It might have been my idea.