My very own Prince Carming.

In this episode of "Real people, real profiles". . .


I recently changed the default photo on my Yahoo Personals listing to the reflect the most current photo I have. I took the photo because it shows off the new third-year-art-student highlights I put in my hair. It's apparently a very good photo, since my average daily profile views and messages have quadrupled.

Tonight I received an Icebreaker message from a guy who, if I am judging his photo correctly, models for cologne ads.

Here is what his profile had to say, verbatim:

My name is [removed in everyone's best interest]. I am 34 years old. I am currently seperated. I love sports, movies, music, all sorts of other activites. I love to cook and I am really good at it. I am easy to talk with as long as you are not rude or ignorant to me. I like talking about anything I am even open minded about talking about issues woman have in general. I am great listener and I give really excellent advise. I am searching for a woman that is romantic, honest, carming, caring. I like a woman that enjoys being sexual, glamourous, and that is not afraid to try new things. I am looking for a woman who also dresses nice, likes to wear jewelry. I have 2 stipulations about a woman that I must have with a woman before I will consider dating her 1st is she must wear make-up and enjoy wearing make-up. 2nd She must not be more than 75 pounds heavier then me and I weight 156.

When I say a woman must wear make-up and enjoy wearing make-up that means she must wear foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner,mascara, blush, and lipstick! Lipliner, brow liner, and powder is optional. Now the reason for my attraction with make-up on a woman is strickly because I find it extremely attractive to see a woman completely made up and always looking her best and when woman do not wear make-up they just appear to plaine to me and I am not at all attracted to plaine woman. If you have an issue with what I am asking for then no hard feelings. I know that this is a alot different then what most men want in a woman. But I am looking for that one special woman to treat like a princess for the rest of her life. So I do not think asking a woman to wear make-up is asking for to much.

I hope to hear from you if your interested just drop me an ice braker or an email

I don't even know what to say.

Wait, yes I do. But first, you'll have to excuse me while I go throw up for ten years.

I am so impressed by his sage "advise" about the proper usage of make-up, and am truly grateful that he has given me options regarding my use of lip and brow liner. That kind of generosity is rare. Since I fall within the acceptable weight ratio required for this particular amusement park ride, I am looking forward to talking to him about my general woman issues. Perhaps if I play my cards right (and am not "to plaine"), he may find me "carming" enough to cook for. I hope so, because he's really good at it.

I'm so excited to have finally found someone who wants to get to know the real me, the woman who wakes up every morning camera-ready and wearing bling. Back off ladies, he's mine.